WARNING! To all amazing unicorns who are about to read this, well, this is a rant post mainly about something that happened in college for a few weeks now. (There’s also vulgar language at the bottom of this post I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself) It’s been on my mind since and I really wanted to get it out of my head and to focus on the positive side of my life, but it seems like right now I cannot do much.
I don’t like to post about my personal life, and if you follow my blog, you’ll see that I don’t have a lot of personal posts. But I figured that if, at least, I wrote it out once, I’ll feel better. And also because I feel I’ve tired my mom out about this “problem” so I think it is unfair to bother her again with this.
I am not going to name anyone, even though I am sure no one who knows me in real life knows or follows this blog, mainly because I don’t tell them about it. It’s… complicated.
Well… At the beginning of the semester, there was a debate to prepare and it sparked a kind-of rivalry between us and a girl. Since then, well… Most of the people in my class do not stand her, even though I’ve came to know her and found that she wasn’t actually that bad… Anyway, just to say that because of this, everytime something shitty happens in class, it’s her fault. Which isn’t fair. But they are hell-bent on believing it, and even though I see that as pretty cheap, well, they are the ones who should be more mature, not me.
On Saturday we became aware that a group of students in our class sent our program coordinator a letter concerning one of our lecturers and about how they weren’t happy about how she marked us and etc… and it was the lecturer concerned who told us that. The girl whom no one likes and whom we’re gonna call B, wasn’t present on that day, but her two friends were, as well as my friend and I. Everyone concluded that it was B’s fault, while I was certain of the opposite as it was not logic. What was more shameful is that everybody acted surprised at the mention of such a letter and they were all “oh my god who could do that?”, “I am sure it’s B!” “Yea, let’s condemn B because it’s the most grown-up thing to do!” -_- Anyway…
On Monday, our class representative actually told us during the break that because of this, and some other issues that I, personally, did not even know about, we are now seen as “the-annoying-batch” by most of our lecturers. And all of this because of some of us. She also said that she knows who wrote the letter (guess what? It wasn’t B! -_- ), or rather, the persons behind the letter (it wasn’t even one person! #shocker) but she can’t tell us because she cannot risk to pinpoint out the “traitors”. I understand her point: she’s our class representative, a kind of class captain, and she’s the one who received all the complaints from the lecturers and who has to deal with this bullshit, so yes, I understand that she cannot, and she will not, tell us who are the authors of the letter.
Oh, and also, there are some students who think it is marvellous to backstab their friends and tell things about them to the lecturers. Guess what? It isn’t. It’s cheap. It’s stupid. It only proves how weak and idiot you are as a person. Backstabbing isn’t cool. Badmouthing your friends to lecturers isn’t cool either. It only proves how not mature you are.
Anyway, back to the subject of the letter. As our CR cannot “disclose” the information about the authors, there are a certain group of people who know think it is their godly duty to find out who are behind this. (Fine, I am exaggerating. They do not think it’s their godly duty. But my point is that they think they are in a better position to judge others because they are more…popular? I don’t know what their excuse is. But I am sure it’s a shitty one) I actually wouldn’t care less but the thing is I heard them say, “Look at Melanie. We don’t really know her and her personality/behaviour so it could be her”. They were fucking in front of me. I was fucking behind them. There was only a fucking table separating us. He was supposed to fucking whisper. Guess what? I fucking overheard you. My bad bitches.
So you are insinuating I wrote that fucking letter because you don’t fucking know me? What a lame excuse is that? I mean, seriously? You think you’ll make a great lawyer? Guess what? Not in this side of the universe bitch.
I am sorry for the excessive and unnecessary cursing. I swear I curse only verbally…^^’ But let’s just say they spoiled the rest of my fucking day, which is why I am typing this down. Yea, I could have told him something. But I held my tongue. Because I am more fucking mature than this bitch. I don’t judge like an idiot selfie-addict and pretentious person. I have morals. Ethics. Maturity. And most importantly, a brain that fucking functions.
I applied to University in order to learn new things that may help me to get a job and hopefully realise my dream, and what do I get? A fucking bad quality soap opera. This wasn’t what I wanted. I did not sign up for this bullshit. I signed up to get to get a degree. And maybe “the best years of my life” advertised by many. But I am truly done with most of the people in this horrendous class. I absolutely do not regret the idea of taking up another degree next year, where I will hopefully feel like I belong and where people will be friendlier. I am not getting my hopes up though… I know better than that. So I’ll just work my ass until the end of this academic year, get a nice certificate, and then choose another nicer and more interesting degree. Okay, I’ll regret not seeing some faces. But besides them… There is a limit to my bullshit tolerance. And I think it just exploded.
It’s not just the letter or the fact that he accused me. It’s the fact that, people in this class tend to exaggerate even the smallest of matters, and it bugs me. Why not behave like adults for fuck’s sake? Most of us are already 19, actually, most are 20 and above, so why are they acting like preadolescents? I am sure that preadolescents don’t even behave that way. I am not the most mature person in the world, many people can attest to that. But there are ways to behave and to react to certain things. And unfortunately, they do not know that. All they know are taking selfies and put facebook statuses to make someone feel bad… or uncomfortable. Or angry. Ughh… For the first time in my life, I am feeling like I am only one of the few grown-ups in class. That’s not a nice feeling.
That post is turning to be longer than expected so I’ll just stop there… Whoops
I am sorry I had to write that somewhere, but now that I am done… I feel a little better…. Also…. I promise you guys that this will be the first and last post where I will swear like a sailor. Pinkie promise.
I wanted to add that; don’t let yourself be disillusioned by all of this pointless crap that’ll be on your way. Keep cool. You are awesome. And no one can tell you otherwise.
Sending you positive vibes! ❤